After recieving a certain amount of insults for my political/religious beliefs, most of which boil down to - You are a douchebag," I thought it might be fun to re-print a few insults that actually had class, and showed some wit, so here they are:
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."
-Winston Churchill's response to George Bernard Shaw
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy."
-Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
"Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!"
-Winston Churchill's response to Lady Astor
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-Thomas Brackett Reed
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any one I know."
-Abraham Lincoln
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"You, Mr. Wilkes, will die either of the pox or on the gallows."
-The Earl of Sandwich
"That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."
-John Wilkes's response to The Earl of Sandwich
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-Winston Churchill
I must admit, Winston Churchill seems to have been able to give as good as he got. Which reminds me of one of my favorites. I cannot remember who, but some woman said to Mr. Churchill, in disgusted tones:
"Mr Churchill - You are drunk."
To which Churchill replied,
"Yes, Mrs. Jones (or whoever), but, you are ugly, and in the morning - I will be sober." 
