Mark P Knowles :: Don't Panic !

All right, all right - they are not all motivational posters, but they are all funny atheist photos. Enjoy and may the hell fire consume you relatively painlessly.....

In honor of baby jesus' birthday I thought a collection of photos poking fun at my religionist friends would be in order. I have sadly come to the conclusion that it is not worth speaking to these people any more after a "debate" went south at hubpages. Having been accused of "refusing to debate," I challenged a religionist to a debate, the laughable results of which are here - Biblical Creation vs Evolution

His opening statement rather floored me as it included references to dragons in China being dinosaurs and compared the Grand Canyon to a bath tub with rings forming after washing a dirty child in in - all as a basis to argue that evolution is wrong, therefore the bible is right.

I do not quite understand the logic of this argument, because there are thousands of creation fairy tales in our distant past so even if evolution was a lie spread by liberal, christian-hating, gay-loving, commie scientists intent on destroying American "family values," - I don't see how the talking snake gets to be the default theory.

Either way, I was forced to dispense with any actual scientific evidence as apparently all science is completely wrong. I was a little shocked at the level of willfull ignorance displayed and did not bother going through the further rounds we had agreed to. It is a little hard to debate with some one who makes up their own unsubstantiated science as proof that the bible must be right but I am planning a new business venture selling dinosaur hunting trips to China in the near future. I see a big audience in the bible belt.

I have written a couple of  articles over at hubpages about Christians recently - the so-called evolution vs creation debate - which does not actually exist is alive and well over there and the christian religion seems hell bent (sic) on causing so much strife that we do bring on Armageddon. Apparently these guys are waiting expectantly for Jesus to come back and take them off to heaven. Personally - I can hardly wait, and many of them do not seem to have irony DNA......proof of evolution in action...........

And now for a little fun. Seeing as it is impossible to have a reasonable - nay any - conversation with these guys, I will join the ranks of all the other non-believers and poke fun instead. You want to believe that there were dinosaurs in China recently - that is your business. But expect to get laughed at.

And not to leave out the Mormons, at least this one shows a few of them have a sense of humor. A Mormon MILF for your viewing pleasure. I don't know if they believe the stuff about the dinosaurs, but as what little I do know about their belief system is pretty outrageous, so it doesn't really matter.

And introducing this year's most popular jesus' birthday gift amongst catholics - the Mass Nintendo Wii, which hands down beats a Sony PS3 80 Gig any day. Happy New Year

There is no way I am finishing 100 hubs in 30 days. After a valiant effort, lol, I will probably end up with around 50. Which is not too bad, but well below where I was aiming for. These are the latest few  hubpage hubchallenge hubs:

I am hard on clothing, particularly footwear. Usually, I am lucky to get two months out of a pair of sandals. I have tried all sorts, from basic flip flops to the latest indestructofibre,... The best mens sandals

Religion has the potential to do so much good yet fails disastrously time and time again, because once you... Creation vs Evolution

The arguments for and against generating alternative sources of energy continue to rage, but one thing is clear – at some point in the future, we will run out of fossil fuels and will be forced to seek... Solar power

I have traveled the world. I have been to at least 30 US states, 8 European countries and several other countries outside of Europe. Not every nook and cranny in the world, but I have been around.

Thus, I was shocked to discover recently that there are people who still believe in the bible as a literal truth.

There are people who believe that the world was created by an all-powerful god about 6,000 years ago. No really, they do. Seriously - I can hear you laughing, but it is true.

And get this - in America - they are legally allowed to take their children out of the school system, keep them at home, and teach them this garbage. Really, I am not joking. Now, I would be the first to agree that the USA has probably the worst school system in the developed world, but watch this video:

And these guys are allowed to do it. Legally. I am no fan of government interference in how you want to live your life, but by any stretch of the imagination - this is child abuse. What use are those kids going to be other than soldiers for the US army? If you had ever wondered why America has a seemingly endless supply of cannon fodder for their numerous wars, now you know at least one of the reasons - Jesus.

If Jesus had a grave, he would be spinning

So, when I discovered a few of these people at a forum I frequent, I attempted to reason with them. I even attempted to explain to them that evolution is not a religion or a belief, it is a fact-based, scientific theory that has not yet been dis-proven. But these guys think that the word "theory," means "guess," and will not listen to a word, especially if to their ears it threatens their tenuous belief system.

I have since given up and decided that the only sensible course of action is to do what I do best.

Make fun of them

I gave this a lot of thought. Should I feel sorry for them? I mean, it must be a living hell to walk around, and every time you see a dinosaur on TV, or a scientific magazine or just about any geographical feature, your core belief system is challenged. And I think if they just quietly stayed at home, in their private hells, I would feel sorry for them. But when I see them indoctrinating innocent children like the guys in the video above, all pity goes out the window. Then I discover that others have beaten me to it. This is Ricky Gervais,

And this guy is excellent. If any of you creationists out there do not understand why you are so funny/sad/mis-guided, watch this. As if

The Grand Canyon was formed in five minutes

Good one!

In a discussion forum I started a thread just for fun entitled "Atheism Rules !" as a sort of tribute to one of my favorite writers, Douglas Adams. Whoo boy, did I learn some stuff about what people think and the lengths they will go to to "prove," that evolution is a lie. This is my favorite excerpt:

Fossils? Where are the fossils that show us the changes from bug to human?

If you are saying that we came from apes and it sounds like this is what you are saying, this goes back to the fish. Why do we still have apes? or fish?

Were the dolphins land mammals that went back into the sea?

Did anyone read what I said about dolphins?

They bear their young alive and breathe out of a whole in their head. They need oxygen to live!!!

So they must have e v o l v e d from the dry land to the sea, correct? or uh wait, uh no, they couldn't have.... uh er they were dropped from a space ship, uh maybe.....

I mean really ! If you are interested, there is a large collection of such statements here.

This is Eddie Izzard's view on the whole thing:

One of the scary things I also came across when some one tried to explain to me that the dinosaurs walked the earth with modern man and were turned into oil by rusting during the flood of Noah was this place:

The institute for creation research.

This is where this "scientific knowledge," came from I think. They just seem to attack any thought that goes against their belief system and pretend to do "research," into the origins of life on earth. You can even buy yourself a "Master of Science degree in Science Education." 

Cost - $13,450

Take a look around their website and make your own mind up. Scary is the word that comes to mind. Funny is the second word. Then back to scary.....

If you ever get into a discussion with a creationist - just remember. They are not allowed to have any fun, so you are wasting your breath using jokes or irony. Head - straight over.